"You don't have your ofrenda set up?"

Celebrating the dead and the living for Día de Muertos (Nov. 1st & 2nd).

Oct 27, 2023

Hello, reader! With Day of the Dead right around the corner, I thought I would share my latest post over at my new newsletter called, "café de olla"! You have been forewarned though - "café de olla" is not for everyone. But if you are spiritually curious and open-minded, I hope you check it out! Stay charming, M -

Maribel

At least, that’s how I heard my Abuelita saying it during my last mediumship reading! She “came through,” as they say, asking/telling my brother and my cousin to basically get their acts together and set up their ancestral altars already! (She knows I’ve had mine set up for years.)

Abuelita does that sometimes whenever I am in a reading session with my cousin, Sonia. She’ll stop by the reading, kind of unexpectedly. She’ll sit quietly and join us for a bit, all the while listening. I, on the other hand, usually have a lot to say or ask her when she pops in on us. She’s very patient with me and sagely answers all my questions. I can sense she enjoys our company, not to mention the chisme (a.k.a., gossip).

Rarely will she voluntarily say something, but that day — she had something to say!

Much like when she was alive, my Abuelita was economical with her words. When she had something to say, or if she was at a fabulous party in which she had a captive audience, she spoke freely and verbosely. I really like that about her. When she speaks, it comes with all the gravitas deservedly earned.

And when she speaks, I feel like a little kid again. I can remember watching her orar (a.k.a., pray) or sobar (a.k.a., therapeutic massage). Or even just telling a really good story at a quinceañera. Whenever she spoke, I was mesmerized.

So on that day, when she essentially chastised my brother and cousin — I felt it.

Do right by the dead, honor them.

They’re watching. And listening. Don’t fool yourself into thinking they don’t because they 100% do!

This is especially true for all my fellow gifted folks who are particularly sensitive to the presence of the dead. Because you are gifted, you naturally pop up on their radar in a big way! As Sonia likes to say, when you’re gifted, you are basically wearing a giant neon sign that says: “WELCOME. YES, I CAN [insert “clair—” + your choice of sensorium] DEAD PEOPLE. COME ON DOWN!” That, you don’t really have any control over. Spirits just know when there is a “translator” in their vicinity.

But even if you aren’t gifted, the dead can and will listen to you if you speak to them. If you try to get their attention. So speak to them! They’ll love it, trust me. There are lots of occultists and practitioners of the dark arts who will also confirm this—

If you invite spirits in, they will show up.

If you create a space for spirits, say on an altar for example, they will show up.

If you use your talisman in the likeness of a saint that you got on a trip to Ireland, and you call their name enough times, they will show up!

Takeaway: If you want a relationship with the dead (or spirits), you have to put some effort into it.

Relationships are a two-way street no matter what side of the veil you currently find yourself.

Ancestral worship, your way.

During the one of the most spirit-forward times of the year, and with Día de Muertos right around the corner, how will you decide to build a relationship with the dead?

There are an infinitesimal number of ways to achieve this! Best advice I can offer, if you are looking for some, would be to go with your gut. Don’t worry about rules so much as the feeling you want to invoke during the triduum (i.e., All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints’ Day, & All Souls’ Day1) as part of Allhallowtide2 this year. You can’t get this wrong if you approach it clear-eyed and clear-hearted.

The one thing I will highly recommend to you though, as Abuelita put it already, is to make a designated area in your home as “the altar.” It can be a shelf on a bookcase, the mantle of a fireplace, a corner of your kitchen, etc. It doesn’t have to be grand in shape or form. Make it work for you, your living space, and your family. No pressure!

Suggestions for basic supplies you can use:

the deceased’s favorite meal, foods, or candy
the deceased’s favorite liquor (they’re called “spirits” for a reason)
personal items that belonged to the deceased
gifts that the deceased person once gave you
candles
photographs (Some of you might have seen Coco (2017). Well, don’t believe everything Disney tells you… I don’t have any and let me tell you, my altar works just fine!)
flowers (some use cempasúchil3 but use what you got!)

Once you create the place, now think of the space! Play music, play games, read aloud, tell stories, cook, bake, or simply chit chat with the dead. They’ll be so happy you did. Again, trust me on this. If you are doing something that interests them, they’ll stick around!

Recipes

For all of those who enjoy whipping up something special for the holidays, here are a few recipes I recommend you try for Día de Muertos:

Café de olla - it’s time to share the recipe that reflects the namesake of this newsletter!
Champurrado - a thicker version of hot cocoa made with warming spices and corn flour.
Pan de muerto - think brioche but with orange zest! I also like to add orange blossom water.
Mexican hot chocolate - I have been pleasantly surprised by how many stores in my area here in New England carry traditional Mexican chocolate tablets!

I hope this post was helpful to you! I figured posting this before the weekend truly kicked off might be good to give you enough time to go grocery shopping.

If you aren’t too spooked by now, I would love to continue sharing in future posts about what happens when I get psychic/mediumship readings from Sonia. And subsequently, let you know what the dead have told me as of late.4

Thoughts? More dead people? Fewer dead people? Do you enjoy getting Mexican recipe recommendations? Do you also celebrate Day of the Dead? If so, what are your favorite activities to do or foods to eat that day? Let me know in the comments!